I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
