How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
