Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
