4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
