Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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