I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
