Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
