hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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