took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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