Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
