im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
