My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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