you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This house was built for laser tag.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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