"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
false alarm. still invincible.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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