the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
