fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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