It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
