dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
