I'm gonna have a badass scar
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
