apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
