i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
