hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
