it hurts more in the daytime
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You need Xanax blowdarts
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I currently don't understand fingers.
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