ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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