How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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