I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
