I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
