i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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