How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
