Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
