i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
