Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think people are normalizing furries
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize