Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
