They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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