...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
