You really coming over, don't trick.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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