were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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