Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
