you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
