i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize