she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
