I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
