3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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