it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
