Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
