did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
