it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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