Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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