so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
