Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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