Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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