I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
