i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
