are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize