in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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