Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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