I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
