Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
